MR’s Music, Movie, Tv, Book, and Ad Recommendations

At The Mankini Revolution (MR) we work hard to provide you with media that presents women as strong, intelligent, and independent and that which sheds insight on issues we present on our website, such as gender, stereotyping, and equality.

Click here to see some of our favorites reviews  Our Media Recommendations, then Click here to share your favorites or add your own suggestions (this link will bring you to our new website.  It cannot be found in a wordpress search, so please Bookmark us there.)

Magazine of the Month–Vanity Fair (June 2010)

The June 2010 issue of Vanity Fair features pictures of sexy shirtless soccer players.  Ladies, if you agree that too many magazine covers feature bikini clad women and too few feature mankini clad men, show your support by purchasing this issue.  I recently got a one year subscription to Vanity Fair for only $12 on the Vanity Fair website.  What drew me to this magazine is its tendancy to portray women and men in a similiar fashion: there are nearly as many sexy pictures of men as of women!   In addition to outstanding photograhy, Vanity Fair contains excellant articles about global issues, economics, travel, beauty, fashion, and entertainment

To view our other media recommendations  click here

Striking Similarities Between The Latest Celebrity Sex Scandals

Tiger Woods must be thankful that Jesse James has taken over the spotlight, for cheating on Oscar winner and America’s sweetheart, Sandra Bullock.  Despite differences in their pre-scandal images (James as a bad boy, man’s man type and Tiger as the clean cut role model) and the initial reactions of their wives’s (Sandra left, Elin stayed), striking similarities surface as the number of James’s mistresses rises:  http://wp.me/pMJkq-y8

Did Kathryn Bigelow Win Oscar Just Because She’s Female?

Go to our new site to read about Kathryn Bigelow, and about the making of her award winning movie The Hurt Locker!

Did Bigelow win just because she\’s female? Read comment and reply to this post.

Share Your Bra Color on FB and Saving Boobs in the Name of Breast Cancer Awareness?

Some time ago I blogged about the “Save the Boobs” ad that was said to increase breast cancer awareness (Link above). The Save the Boobs Ad was a video of women in skimpi bikinis at a pool party.  The camera was on one woman in particular, zoomed in on her boobs, as they  bounced around in her bikini top while she walked, and showing the men oogle her breasts and women look at her breasts with envy.

The latest popular method of “breast cancer awareness”  originated from a Facebook message saying “just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the color, nothing else. And send this on to ONLY girls no men …” was circulated. Why? Because “It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status… Haha.”

Many women participated.  My husband and I learned what color of bra women were wearing that we hadn’t seen since high school, women we worked with, relatives, and others.  The only effect it had on either of us, was to give us unwanted and inappropriate visual images of these women in their bras.  Learning the color of women’s bras does nothing beneficial for women.  It reminded me a lot of the Save the Boobs Ad, discussed below.

Post On Save the Boobs Ad

I just read an article about the very sexual save the boobs breast cancer ad in my local newpaper.  I was disappointed by the number of people who commented that were in support of it.  I’m sure this will bring in some bucks and gain attention, like the sexualizaton of women does, but that doesn’t mean it’s positive for women.  In today’s world, where women are so frequently portrayed as though they exist for other’s viewing pleasure, an ad like this only prepetuates the problem.  I truly believe that women will not be viewed as individuals to be respected and equals to men when women are sexualized to such a greater extent.  You don’t see male prostate and penile cancer ads with the man strutting around in revealing clothing while the women oogle at him and men look with envy.  I’m very sympathetic to the devestation women feel when losing their breasts, but surgeons can do some amazing breast reconstruction surgeries now.  The women’s life should be the primary focus of those concerned with breast cancer.  Have you all seen this ad?  If not, it should be easy to located in a google search for save the boobs.

Please share any similiar methods of “breast cancer awareness.”

5 Rarely Considered Reasons that Women Don’t Objectify Men and Why It’s Time for Change

Today’s women seem to show more interest in looking at other women then looking at men.  What sense does this make?  Here are 5 rarely considered reasons why the majority of heterosexual women have yet to show interest in seeing the male body and why it’s time for change.

1. Men have money, women want money. Traditionally, women relied on men’s support for their very survival.  Because of this, women’s efforts were best spent 1)increasing their own desirability, 2)comparing themselves to other women of desire in order to successfully compete for men, and 3)to avoid doing or saying anything that would make them less desirable to men.  In today’s world, women are educated, have careers, have the ability to support themselves, and can be just as independent as men, and many are.

2. Men have more physical strength.  Historically, women put themselves in danger if they didn’t conform to what men wanted, because physical strength was necessary for survival.  Now we have laws in place to protect women from rape and other forms of violence, and there’s a strong social stigma attached to violating those laws.  In countries without these protections for women, it is extremely dangerous for women to rebel against men’s preferences.  Even today, women are stoned to death for violating sexual norms.  In parts of the Middle East, it’s considered acceptable to kill a female rape victim, because the victim is viewed to have disgraced the family by her rape.  Men don’t fear being physically harmed by women they stare at, harass, or come on to.  Women have more reason for concern.

3. Women are primary caretakers of children. While women were stuck at home with children, they did not have the opportunity, time, money, or independence to pursue their own interests.  Now women have birth control, have fewer children, later in life, and men’s and women’s responsibilities for childrearing are becoming more equal.

4. Men have the power. Men still have the majority of socio economic and political power.  As a result, women have been quick to conform to men’s desires.  Few women who gain power have brought other women up with them, and as with anything, people are slow to change.  Even today, women have few opportunities to develop the habits of viewing men sexually.

5.Shame if a strong deterrent.  Historically, paternity testing did not exist and men wanted to ensure they were the biological fathers of the children they were supporting.  This is why the sexual double standard came into existence. Even today, men feel much more secure when their woman is thinking about them, love, kids, cooking, and cleaning, then lusting for others.  Women are socialized to feel shameful for having impure thoughts.  Although women would also feel more secure if their men had similar devotion and focus, women are told, men can’t help it, it’s the way they’re made. After all, there has to be some explanation for the existence of the sexual double standard.

 

Women mistake sexual attention for liberation and power

In a review of “Female Chauvinist Pigs” for the New York Times, author Jennifer Egan wrote:

“Our popular culture has embraced a model of female sexuality that comes straight from pornography and strip clubs, in which the woman’s job is to excite and titillate — to perform for men.”

Girls have bought into the idea that our objectification is empowering; that looking sleazy is liberating. Sexualizing ourselves for attention and playing an active role in our objectification, will not lead to equality between the sexes. Increased objectification only furthers inequality.

Girls Gone Wild, sexting, stripper poles at parties and bars, glamorizing the lives of girls who pose naked, and treating them as celebrities, and other trends of this sort do not further the equality of women. Especially when it’s almost exclusively women who are portraying themselves this way.

Women should enjoy their sexuality in a responsible, self respecting way, because it’s pleasurable, not because it gets them attention.  It’s negative attention. Women we need to stop encouraging and engaging in our own objectification. The ability to get sexual attention is not what we should be striving for.  Strive for respect, influence, positive attention from quality people, longterm success and happiness. If you want to be noticed or want to look beautiful, be beautiful, but do it in a respectable way that gives you the attention of quality people.

I’m Not a Feminist, but…

Last week I did a Twitter search to find out what people were saying about feminism. One of the most common phrases I came across was, I’m not a feminist, but…. This phrase was stated almost exclusively by women, and was followed by a complaint of something that was unfair to women. Why are so many women turned off by feminism? Is it negative associations to the term feminist, or are they actually against sexual equality? What do women mean when they say, I’m not a feminist? Feminism is defined as political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Feminists are believers and advocates for sexual equality. I’m curious, do people who actively deny being feminist know what a feminist is, and if so, what specifically about feminism are they opposed to?

I understand not wanting to be labeled. I voted almost exclusively for democratic candidates for years before I was willing to label myself a democrat. Even though I’ll say I’m a democrat if asked, I’d still like to believe I make my decisions based on individual candidates, and on issues, not down party line. You may also notice the purpose of my blog and website is to address issues effecting females today, mostly gender inequality, and harmful gender stereotypes, but I rarely use the term feminist, even though I am an advocate for equality.  I will not deny being a feminist, but I have found the use of the word to be a turnoff to a lot of the mainstream audience.

For anyone who has ever denied being a feminist, Why? I would guess that many of those who dislike the label do believe in sexual equality, at least to some extent. What they may not realize is that feminist does not mean: man hater, bitter, extreme, against all that’s feminine, anti-sex, or any other negative connotations you may have. There are male feminists, female feminists, and feminists who have all kinds of different beliefs about what equality means, and what it takes to reach equality. I don’t doubt you can find feminists who fit the stereotype of the bitter, man-hater, but there are many who don’t.

You don’t have to be aggressive, or subscribe to a certain set of beliefs to consider yourself a feminist. For example, I’m happily married. My husband and I don’t act in strict accordance with gender roles. We do what works best for us. Some of those things are in accordance with traditional gender roles, others are not. If the traditional gender roles work best for those involved in their own relationships, I have no problem with that. I would also not judge a man harshly for taking on traditionally female roles, like being a primary caretaker of his children, or for working as a nurse.  Most men have some feminine traits, most women have some masculine traits, and that’s generally considered desirable.  People should do what works best for them, but men and women should not be limited by, or judged based solely on their gender.  When it comes to gender equality, my focus is mainly on the sexual double standard, and the harm in the limitations and expectations  sexism  creates.

Whether or not you identify yourself as a feminist, think about why feminism gets such a bad rap. I would imagine the main reason feminism got a bad rap initially is because the idea of women having power was historically controversial, and their are still people who are uncomfortable with the idea of women being treated as equals. First, the people who actively label themselves feminists, as with any other type of label we give ourselves, tend to identify strongly with the feminist cause. This means they tend to be passionate about it, and therefore may get more fired up about inequality then others. You don’t have to be part of a formal organization to be a feminist. You only have to have the courage to publicly admit you believe in sexual equality. Secondly, feminists want social, economic, and political equality between the sexes in a world where men still hold most of the power, and that’s scary to some people.

What do the rest of you think?

Adam Lambert and the Gay/Bisexual Double Standard

Before his AMA Music Award Performance last night, Adam Lambert said that he wanted to break down the double standard that exists, where male musicians rarely perform in the sexually provocative manner that has become so commonplace for female performers. Lambert didn’t hold back. His act consisted of both male and female dancers, all portrayed in a provacative manner. Lambert led a male dancer around on a leash, put another dancer’s head near his crotch, and ended his performance by kissing a man. Lambert was applauded by some as courageous and left others disgusted.

Although highly provacative, Lambert’s performance, was not unlike the performances I’ve seen of popular female singers, and his kiss was a lot like the Madonna-Brittany Spears kiss.
It’s almost like music awards shows have turned into a contest to see who can be the most sexually outrageous, which isn’t good, considering how many young people admire those who take part. I don’t support the extent of raunchiness on television, but I find the inequality in the way men and women are typically portrayed as even more disturbing. This raises an interesting issue, in today’s world, are men still judged significantly more harshly than women for displays of sexually provocative and homosexual or bisexual behavior, and if so, why?

From my experience, there is an obvious answer to this question. Not to say women go without judgment, but there’s no doubt that men are judged more harshly for dressing in a sexually provocative manner and for homosexual or bisexual behavior. The more interesting and telling questions are why the double standard, what’s its effect, and is it changing?

I find the gay-straight continuum theory the most compelling theory to explain human sexual preference. Based on the continuum theory, only a small percentage of people are 100% gay or 100% straight, that is if we lived in a world without expectation or judgment regarding one’s sexuality, most of us, even we who identify ourselves as completely heterosexual, would have to admit to some homosexual attraction, not matter how slight. Although many heterosexual people are capable of being sexually aroused by the same sex, people often repress homosexual urges and deny their existence to others, because hetereosexual behavior has traditionally been considered more socially and morally acceptable.

Based on this theory, it makes perfect sense that more women are admitedly bisexual. Why? A lot of men think it’s hot, so even if women aren’t otherwise any more inclined towards bisexuality then men, women are much more likely to act on and admit to homosexual attractions. I’ve witnessed plently of primarily heterosexual women admit to or act on bisexual tendancies, to get attention from men; women who wouldn’t have done so, but for the eager male audience. If women start viewing male homoerotic behavior as a turn on, I have little doubt that, with time, at least as many men as women would admit to same sex attraction.

Another major factor is that the vast majority of the sexualized images women see throughout their lives are of women. That being the case, even women can’t help but take part in objectifing other women. Again, with time, I believe that with increased exposure to sexualized images of men, men will be objectified to the same extent. Considering the popularity of Twilight, The New Moon, and Adam Lambert, we’re heading in that direction.

Just as many heterosexuals have some ability to or tendency towards homosexual attraction, even if never admitted to or acted upon, homosexuals may also have some level of attraction to or ability to become sexual aroused by the opposite sex. The reason it’s less common for men to be openly bisexual than women is due to the social stigma attached, men are more likely to repress sexual attraction toward the same sex, unless that attraction is extremely strong, meaning the guy is way over on the gay side of the gay-straight continuum.

Why does the leisbian/gay man double standard exist? Throughout history, those identifying themselves as straight men have held most of the social and political power, and a lot of straight men are not comfortable revealing they have any gay inclination. It’s not seen as macho. Revealing such an inclination would make them feel vulnerable. Because most men are primarily heterosexual, they would rather look at and be with women then men anyway, so acting on a same sex attraction hasn’t been worth the social stigma it carries. Women, who have had less power traditionally, have been the sex more likely to conform to what men want. Because of this, women are more likely to go along with the objectification of other women, then to objectify men.

Obviously not all bi women who act on it are doing it to please men, but if men treated bisexual behavior between girls as disgusting, female bisexual tendancies would be much less commonly acted on. A man’s typical sexual fantasy with lesbians, involves the girls putting on a show for the man and wanting to please him. The idea of two men putting on a show for women is less appealing to straight men, not only because of the social stigma attached, but because it takes away the feeling of being macho and in control.

If the gay-straight continiuum theory holds true, once women allow themselves to enjoy the thought of and site of male homoerotica, male bisexual behavior and female bisexual behavior will be seen in a very similar fashion and the additional stigma associated with male homosexuality will fade away.

What do you think? How much of a role will a person like Adam Lambert, who’s desired by gay men and women alike, have in changing this double standard? It would be interesting to hear from individuals who identify themselves as gay, straight, and bi.

Women Will Not Achieve Sexual Equality Through Man Hating

I watched the movie Invictus last night directed by Clint Eastwood, starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon.  It was a powerful story about the relationship between Nelson Mandela, the first black man elected president of South Africa, and a primarily white rugby team.  Just prior to his presidency Mandela was released from prison, where he spent many years alone in a small cell because of his involvement in the fight against Apartheid.   The story involves Mandela’s support for what was a primarily white rugby team, that to many was symbolic of apartheid.  Many Mandela supporters wanted to rid their country of the people and things from the apartheid era.  The Athletics Counsel wanted to change the name and face of the primarily white National rugby team.  They hated the idea of supporting anyone who had harmed and oppressed them.  While one can understand that reaction, Mandela believed that in order to end racism, to heal, and to progress as a country, blacks and whites had to work together.  Madela felt it was important that the rugby team was allowed to remain as is.  Because the local rugby team was watched by so many, Mandela became personally involved in support of the team, and through his involvement, he gained support from those who were once his opponents, and brought the races together.

Since I started this blog, I am hyperalert to anything I can relate to the struggle for gender equality. The movie reinforced to me the importance of forgiveness and welcoming the so-called enemy to join your cause, with open arms.  Mandela’s strategy was brilliant.  He realized that he could not achieve peace, acceptance, respect, and togetherness through hate, anger, and revenge.  Other brilliant leaders such as King and Gandhi used similar tactics.

For women participating in the fight towards sexual equality, there is no long-term benefit that will come from bitterness, or hatred towards men.  I have found that men can be some of our greatest supporters.  I’ve also found that one of the biggest reasons people are turned off by advocates of sexual equality is their belief that we are bitter, easily angered, and hate men.  A misconception that we are trying to take away men’s power and success, rather then share in it.

I’ve come across many men who are strong supporters of sexual equality.  Sure, there are some men who don’t and never will respect women, and I do my best to avoid those men, but there are more men who do, or who are at least capable of learning to see women as their equals.   I realize that some people are just negative contributors to society, it doesn’t matter what their sex is.  Hatred or reverse sexism does not, and will not lead to positive change, because there will always be connections between men and women, though marriage, other relationships, and work. Hating men will only lead to negativity, for us personally, for womankind, and for the world.

A Male’s Perspective on the Objectification of Women

Written by Regular Guy in response to Post Are People Oblivious to the Extent and Effect of the Objectification of Women

The current societal norms of the day provide very powerful conditioning as to what all of us consider to be beautiful, attractive or even sexually stimulating. If you look to different periods of time or even different cultures you will see this clearly evidenced. For instance, in ancient Rome, homosexual behavior of men was commonplace and dare I say socially acceptable. It is also interesting that if you look at the art of the day, you will see the male form very prevalently represented and idealized and as quite attractive.

Compare that to the recent modern history of America where the socio-politico-economic power has been concentrated with men (although now shifting and shifting quickly). Correspondently, the “art” and pornography were chasing those dollars, while at the same time women are being sexually repressed to chastity and being hyper-exposed to sexualized images of women tailored to mens’ preferences. Given this, it is no wonder that the subscription rates to Playboy by hetero women are so high. If you are a bi or homosexual female by all means enjoy the female body in all its glory. Just don’t be confused, what we experiencing in this modern girls gone wild, sexting era, is not the pinnacle of hetero female sexual liberation, but is the ultimate and darkest sexual exploitation of women, in that you yourselves are complicit (and doing it for free) and we have all been convinced this is socially acceptable. Take a jump back in time 50 years and try describing to your grandparents what they would see in girls gone wild infomercials 50 years in the future. Hard to imagine isn’t it?

As an aside, Playboy, while not hardcore, is pornography and not art. It is the same photographers churning out pictures like they were making hamburgers at McDonald’s. Don’t get me wrong, I think you can have explicit depictions of men, women, and sex that are absolutely art. While this is a high hurdle to jump, true art should be up the task and meeting that task is truly what distinguishes it from run of the mill porno. Maybe the supreme court got it wrong. Maybe the standard is and should be that you know it is art when see it. Which leads me to my final point, there were no women on the supreme court when the seminal cases on pornography and the first amendment were being decided. Split the court with men and women and I bet we have a much different and I suspect healthier definition of what pornography is permissible under the 1st amendment.

The Cycle of Gender Inequality: Parenting and Gender Stereotypes

Parents are responsible for helping their children to be successful in the world as it is today, which entails something very different from what may have led to success in previous generations.  As a result, encouraging children to fulfill stereotypical gender roles is problematic, especially for females.  First, it denies a child their individuality, because most people don’t fit so neatly into any one category.  Second, stereotypical feminine traits are not as highly valued by society as stereotypical masculine traits such as self-sufficiency, acheivement of wealth, influence, power, and individuality.  While stereotypical masculine traits tend to put men in a position of power, the stereotypical feminine traits lead to physical and emotional vulnerability,  unhealthy obsession with personal appearance, unhealthy levels of competition among females for males, and a state of dependance.

Below is a link to an excellant article written by a teen girl about the connection between gender stereotypes and sexism, the role parents play in teaching and maintaining the status quo.

How to Win the Gender War: Sexism and Teens http://www.radicalparenting.com/2009/05/12/how-to-win-the-gender-war-sexism-and-teens-teen-article/

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

How Do Our Historical Teachings and Religious Beliefs Effect Our Ability to Grow As a Society?

I recently read the award winning books, “Ishmael,” and  ”My Ishmael”, by Daniel Quinn.  They are part of a series of fiction books about a gorilla named Ishmael who teaches those with “an earnest desire to save the world.”  The idea is that it takes someone from outside our culture to view it clearly, without bias.  What I liked about these books is that they pose questions that introduce the reader to an entirely new way of viewing the human race and world.  The author’s focus is on the effect of humans on the environment, but its general principals hold true to all aspects of our culture.

One of the questions raised by Quinn is, Why do we perceive the human race as deprived of the essential knowledge of how to live right, and feel it can only be accessed through religion or supernormal means? Quinn writes that when something falls outside of the range of human curiosity, (meaning, when we rely entirely on religious or historic teaching for our understanding) we do not allow ourselves to question it, and it exists as a blind spot to us.

Religion is dangerous when it is used in a way that discourages critical analysis, common sense, and independent thinking.  Historical or religious teachings are not, and should not be considered the only sources of our morality.  People generally have a natural ability to empathize and an ability to predict the likely consequences of their actions, so common sense and logic can and should be used to guide our behavior.

Religion is one of the few instances in which intelligent, analytical people are asked to put aside their skepticism and have blind faith.  This is dangerous way to treat religion.  Religions were created by men in positions of power who sometimes had very personal and selfish motivations for their decisions and actions.  Historically, there was little or no separation between church and state, there were corrupt leaders, and one of the easiest ways for the government to gain compliance with what it wanted was to make rules in the name of religion.  Even the bible was put together by a group of powerful men who decided how to interpret it, what went in, and what stayed out.  Although Jesus was known to have treated all people as equals, people have always used the bible and religion to support prevalent forms of inequality and oppression, including slavery, racism, sexism, and prejudice against gays.

Another interesting concept raised by Quinn is his first book “Ishmael”, is that our culture is the aggregation of the cultures of all prior generations.  Each generation tweaks it, adds a little, and throws some out, but we never start with a fresh slate, not even close.  Looking at it this way, it’s no wonder that change takes so long to occur.

So much of our world today is affected by our history.  The more I read about history, the more I notice how long it takes the human race to overcome any problem.  It’s amazing how many of today’s societal problems originated at the beginning of time.

The world has never been changed by people who are unwilling to question and challenge the conventional wisdom of their time, and throughout history, all prevalent forms of oppression have been explained as due to the innate superiority of one group over another and in the name of relegion.  To live a life of true morality, one cannot blindly follow historical teachings or religious belief.

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

Controversey over Lindsey Vonn (Provocative?) Sports Illustrated Cover

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One of the top Yahoo stories today addresses the controversey over this Sports Illistrated cover.  Sports Illistrated has had very few women on it’s cover, except for their softcore porn swimsuit editions, which are totally unrelated to the magazines sports theme.  In support of this cover, the yahoo article states that the picture is nearly identical to a previous cover featuring a male skier, which wasn’t objected to, and that people didn’t have a problem with a male athelete posing shirtless for the cover of GQ.  I don’t find either of these points persausive.  I looked at the cover the the past male skier, and had a hard time seeing it in anyway provacative or sexy, nor does it appear it was intended to be.  And, GQ almost always contains covers or photos of nude/semi-nude men or women that are racy.

I think people are missing the point.  Female atheltes want to be taken seriously and respected for their talent and hard work like male atheletes are.  Although the provacative nature of the photo may be somewhat subtle, if men see the Lindsey Vonn cover and the first thought that comes to mind is something perverted, she is not being treated with the same level of importance or respect that similiarly talented men recieve from the magazine, and that it a problem.  What do you think?

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Let-the-Lindsey-hype-begin-Vonn-is-Sports-Illus;_ylt=ArExHMvaPyD6tvCIddTEWe9otLV_?urn=oly,217525

Also See http://mankinirevolution.wordpress.com/2010/02/11/lindsey-vonn-p…imsuit-edition/

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

Oprah Gets Inside the Minds of Child Molesters

Today Oprah interviewed a group of four convicted child molesters, each who spoke incredibly candidly about their offenses, in the presence of their group therapist.  This was a rare opportunity for parents to hear from child molesters themselves about why they molested children and how they did it.  Each of the molesters knew or was related to their victims and each had a similar story.  The common theme was this: It all started with sexual fantasy about the child, coupled with masturbation.  They each allowed their sexual fantasies to increase in frequency and seriousness, until reaching the point of obsession.  Before the first incident of molestation, the molester felt out the situation to determine whether he could get away with it and whether the child would tell anyone.  The molester then began to molest the child.  Most of the molestation started with “safer” activities, such as fondling and the boundries were pushed further over time.  After the molestation, the molester felt an adrenaline rush, leading to more fantasy and masturbation, and additional incidents of molestation.   All the while, the molester comforted himself by telling himself the child liked it.   If caught or confronted, the molester lied and denied wrong doing.  The molesters used manipulation, threats and bribes to gain compliance and secrecy from the child. Despite the honesty and insight expressed by the perpetrators, 3 or the 4 men admit that they are at risk of reoffending.

As one of the molesters acknowledged, when a child is abused it changes who they are and who they become.

Here are the 4 things Oprah wants you to know about child molestation:

1. Over 90% of child molesters are Not Strangers.

2. Abusers chose their victims.  They seek out those who are vulnerable and gain their trust.  The look for those who are needy and have low self esteem.  They won’t molest a child if they don’t think they can get away with it.

3. Abusers manipulate their victims, so victims is left confused about what is happening and blame themselves.

4. Learn about and pay attention to red flags.

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

Lindsey Vonn Poses for SI Swimsuit Edition

Despite speculation, it now appears likely that Lindsey Vonn was a willing participant in creating the slightly provocative SI cover shot.  In addition to the SI cover shot, Vonn posed for 45 bikini clad pictures for this season’s issue of the SI Swimsuit Edition.

No doubt Vonn is an attractive women, but in the world we live in, sexualization of women often removes focus from female achievement and takes away from respectability and gender equality.  Shifting focus from women’s capabilities to their appearance is the most commonly and effectively used way to marginalize women.  The problem isn’t in the sexualization itself, the problem is the inequality in the portrayal of men and women and what that leads to.

At a time when many gifted, hardworking women want to be taken seriously for their athletic achievements and seek increased equality in media coverage of their sports, there is a disturbing trend towards increased raunch and sexualization of female atheletes and athletics.

On a slightly different note, with leagues like women’s roller derby and lingerie football, a major part of the attraction is the scantily clad dress of the women.  What kind of message is this sending, that female athletes aren’t worth watching unless their performance is sexually titillating?  For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

Millionaire Matchmaker Success Rate Slipping?

Prior to this season, in the introduction to each episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Patti Stanger, claimed a 99% success rate.  This season the introduction has changed to say Millionaire Matchmaker has an extremely high success rate, but nothing more specific is stated.  The Millionaire Matchmaker website says, “we have an extremely high success rate; nearly four out of five men get into a relationship with our matchmaking service.”

So, the claim is that about 80% of the matchmaker clients get into a relationship of some sort.  According to the show’s epilogues, most of the matches don’t work out so well and never see each other again, and several clients have been kicked out of the club for being difficult.  Those who remain in the club, continue to be matched until they find someone that works out.  It would seem that only a small number of Patti Stanger’s matchmaking clients appear on her tv show.

So, the current claim of the show is that around 80% , (rather than 99 out of 100, as previously claimed), of the men end up in a relationship through the matchmaking services.  ”Relationship” is not defined, and as most of us know, relationships can be long or short, and most relationships don’t work out so well.

One of the reasons for my critique of Millionaire Matchmaker’s success rate arises from my curiosity regarding Patti Stanger’s matchmaking methods.  Patti goes to great lengths to coach the men and women on how to look and act on their dates, often with the assistance of life coaches or other professionals who work with clients.

Patti is big on acting in accordance with stereotypical gender roles.  Although people can easily act like something they are not at the beginning of a relationship or for a single date, it doesn’t work well in a long-term relationship.  Their true colors show and their partner feels like they got and bait and switch, or they get in the habit of never showing their true self to their partner, which can lead to misery.  Even when people sincerely want to change something about themselves, it can be incredibly hard to do.  It’s even more difficult if you are doing it at the direction of another.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to find people who are compatible as they are, ultra-masculine, ultra-feminine, or somewhere in between?  It makes sense to be on your best behavior at the beginning of a relationship, but if you have to give up who you are to be with another person, the cost is too high, even if it pays millions.

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.

Bachelor Party Horror Stories

I heard a story a while back about a wedding that was set to take place on a Saturday in California.  The bride, groom, and a lot of the guests lived in the midwest.  A few days before the wedding, the groom had a bachelor party with strippers.  At the end of the night, he was arrested for having sex with one of the strippers outside of the place they were at.  He spent the night in jail, his story made the headlines and became widely known, the bride called the wedding off, and a lot of people had wasted money on a plane ticket to California, with no wedding to go to.  This isn’t the first story I’ve heard of this kind, but one that ended especially badly.  Turns out a wild bachelor party may not be the best way to prepare yourself for married life.  Who knew? Please share any stories you have the involve bachelor or bachelorette parties that had disasterous effects on a relationship, or on your feelings about them in general.

Visit and leave responses at our new blog and website at http://www.mankinirevolution.com/blog/

Note to Readers

This blog has moved to our new website at #mce_temp_url#. Go to this address, and scroll down to locate the blog.  Our latest posts are located at the top of the new blog.  You can scroll through our list of categories, or search by date, or keyword to find posts that interest you.  Please bookmark our new site and continue to go there for the latest material.  We are working hard to provide people with great discussion, information, and entertainment and will be adding additional sections in the near future.  We welcome your input.  Thanks.

Some of the many Posts you will find on our new site:

• Jokes about gender
• Is Emasculation a legitimate concern?
• Michele Bachmann told to act like a lady
• Is ignorance bliss?

The Men of “The Bachelorette”: The Drama, The Heartache, and OH YES, The Tears! (Updated Weekly)

This entry is posted on our new blog at mankinirevolution.com

It’s Not Just Cougar Discrimination: Discrimination Against Sexually Stimulating Material For Women

It’s widely believed that the lack of sexually stimulating material available for women is the direct result of a lack of female demand.  The two examples I describe below, tell a very different story.

First, google is discriminating against cougar dating sites, but not similiar, or even more explicit and offensive dating sites for men. Second, Hollywood discriminates against movies about females seeking sexual pleasure, while movies about males seeking sexual pleasure are commonplace.

If the real reason for a lack of sexually stimulating material for women is lack of demand, why do we do we need the sexual double standard to keep female behavior in line?  The double standard not only functions to make women feel uncomfortable taking an interest in their own sexual pleasure, an incredibly strong deterrent to female sexual exploration on its own, but once women get past this hurdle and decide make sexual material available to other women, there are major barriers when it comes to gaining funding, advertising, and publication.

Google

Google recently made the decision to disallow cougar dating service ads on its site, but not similar men’s dating service ads. (link from the NYtimes.com article below)  The owner of CougarLife.com is fighting back.

Google said it made this decision after classifying CougarLife.com as “non-family safe.”  and says that all companies and websites containing the word “cougar” will now be considered adult and will not be able to run on Google’s “content network.”  (The Google advertising system has two components: one for ads that appear next to search results, and one for its content network). This means CougarLife’s ads will no longer show up on more than 6,700 websites, accounting for 60 percent of its traffic.

CougarLife’s describes it’s services as “…classy, confident women that already possess many of the finer things in life – but now want the young, hot guy to go with it.”   However, sites promoting sugardaddy’s, like date-a-millionaire.com and ArrangementSeekers.com, which describes itself as “the original Sugar Daddy service catering to ambitious and attractive girls seeking successful and generous benefactors to fulfill their lifestyle needs!,” and even more sexually explicit dating sites are allowed to advertise.  So, if you a woman looking for a man, now you’ll see ads to help you find “sexy Latin women” rather then attractive men.

Ms. Opdenkelder, the owner of the cougar dating site says googles actions gender and age discrimination.

Link to NY Times article: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/16/fashion/16cougar.html?src=tptw

Movies

Recently I wrote the following column about the movie, “Coming Soon,” under my media reviews section:

This movie is not the most highly-rated, nor is it easy to find (you can find it on Amazon.com using the movies title, along with the director’s name Colette Burson).  This movie is, however, important and worthy of your attention.  Writer and director, Colette Burson, tells a realistic story of the common, yet rarely discussed, experience of a teenage girl as she becomes sexually active: inability to have an orgasm, discomfort addressing the problem, uncertainty regarding what an orgasm feels like (Did I have an orgasm?),  and dishonesty about the experience of sex due to desire to fit in.  Despite its racy cover, this movie was not as crude or offensive as one might expect, especially in comparison to American Pie, Porky’s, and other coming of age films about the sexual experience of teenage boys.  Even so, this movie was highly controversial.  The producers found that the sexual double standard was powerful and had a hard time gaining support in its production or sale.  The MPAA refused to give this movie an R- rating, even though it lacked nudity, and although frank, was not exploitative or titillating.  Instead it was rated NC-17.  Director Colette Burson said her MPAA representative admitted the board has a double standard when it comes to depicting female sexual desire.

On Newstands This Week–McSteamy Poses Shirtless for Us Weekly Magazine

This week’s Us Weekly Magazine (May 5, 2010) features hot pictures of Eric Dane (AKA Dr. McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy) shirtless. If you want to support increased equality in the media’s portrayal of the sexes or simply want to see more of McSteamy, vote with your wallet and increase the demand by buying this magazine today–on newstands this week only.

New Study: Men More Likely To Suspect Infidility

According to a recent study (cited below), men are more suspicious of future infidelity in their relationships than women are.  This was true even though men were more likely than women to admit to the possibility that they personally would engage in future infidelity.  The authors of the study use the following theory of evolution to explain this heightened male sensitivity–

Ancestral men were more susceptible to an additional cost if they failed to detect infidelity: the investment of resources into genetically unrelated offspring.  Ancestral women had less reason to be concerned about cheating, because they could be sure that a child was theirs.

Evolutionary theory is heavily relied on in explaining present day relationships between the sexes and differences between men and women.  I wonder, is reliance on evolutionary theory really as necessary or helpful in understanding sex and gender as it is made out to be?

For example, can’t we adequately answer the question addressed in the study I refer to without reliance on suspected concerns in the life of the caveman.  One of the simplest explanations is this:  The guilty tend to be the most suspicious.  Why?  Because when a person is cheating or considering cheating themselves, cheating weighs more heavily on their mind.  They tend to associate with other cheaters, so cheating seems more common than it is.  They are also well aware of the possibility that they too could be cheated on.  This theory holds true not just for cheaters, but for liars, drug users, thieves, etc.  An advantage of the theory I propose is that it can be tested, whereas, we cannot test or be certain of the behaviors or motivations of the first humans.  In addition, the theory I propose is not gender-specific.  Female cheaters may respond in a similar fashion.

I fear that continued reliance on evolutionary theory to explain issues of gender stands in the way of progress and equality.  We can’t test it, we can’t change it.  We’re just stuck with it.  This mindset is not conducive to change.  What do you think?

Goetz, A.T. & Causey, K. (2009). Sex differences in perceptions of infidelity: Men often assume the worst. Evolutionary Psychology, Vol 7, No 2: 253-263. Full text: http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/ep07253263.pdf

What Is Boobquake and Was It A Good Idea?

After an Iranian cleric claimed that earthquakes were caused by inappropriate female dress and promiscuity, a large group of U.S. college students showed off their cleavage in protest. Apparently if an earthquake didn’t strike then and there, the link between female dress and earthquakes would be forever broken. Interestingly, some feminists spoke out in support of this protest that has come to be known as “Boobquake.” Was “Boobquake” actually a positive female movement?

Control of female sexuality through dress is a commonly used form of female oppression.  In places like Iran, women are desexualized in appearance and the double standard is used to keep their behavior under control.  In other places, women are sexualized in appearance (in a way that’s visually pleasing to men), while the stud/slut double standard still functions to keep female behavior under control. Both of these forms of oppression were started by and for the benefit of men, but are now frequently supported and continued voluntarily by women.

In the most advanced countries like the U.S., many women believe they have “taken control” of the situation, by becoming active participants in their own objectification. This is not a sensible or constructive approach to gender equality. If wearing revealing clothing led to increased power and status, women would be viewed as far superior to men. Rather, the extent of female sexualization, in comparision to male sexualization, stands in the way of our equality.  Female sexualization and sexual attention-seeking do not and have never lead to real, long-term gender equality, respect or female empowerment. Fortunately, covering the entire body or putting our private parts on display, are not the only options for women. Women can look great, make their own decisions about clothing, and look respectable all at the same time.

Show Your Boobs For Breast Cancer Awareness

For more information of this topic, see the following: Women Mistake Sexual Attention for Liberation and The Bikini Revolution: Liberation or Exploitation at mankinirevolution.com

Dancing With The Stars–Why Pamela Anderson is in the bottom two

For those of you watching the new season of DWTS, you may have been surprised to see Pam Anderson in the bottom two at the very first elimination. As far as dancing and performance skills, Anderson is levels above Kate Gosslin, Buzz Aldrin, and others who recieved more votes. Her high scores from the judges serves as further evidence of this. The problem is, the audience votes counts, and to the audience, this is more then a dance contest, it’s a popularity contest. For Rest of this Post, Click Here

John Wayne Gacy’s Sister on Oprah–tragic effects of shame and repression

John Wayne Gacy’s sister, Karen, was on Oprah, and during her interview she spoke candidly about the childhood she had with her big brother, John Wayne Gacy. John Wayne Gacy was responsible for the molestation, rape, and murder of 33 boys and men in the 1970’s. She spoke about how close she and her brother were as children, she said they were best friends, and did everything together. Growing up she stated that John liked things that were different from boys his age, things like gardening, cooking, and baking. He wasn’t as interested in fishing and hunting like his father. Sadly. this upset his father, who would express his anger during drinking episodes, from which he was known to be a mean drunk. His father on many occasions called John a “sissy”. John’s sister said that John never felt like he lived up to his father’s expectations, and this feeling went well into adulthood.

Rest of post is on our new blog at http://www.mankinirevolution.com/blog/?p=1533

Is Fear of Emasculation a Legitmate Concern?

Here is the link to the post I wrote some time ago about the concern of the emasculation of men: http://wp.me/pFbir-6i.  Since that time, I’ve found that emasculation (fear of, danger of, oe problem with) have been one of the more commonly searched phrases bringing people to my site..   The term emasculation has to do with men losing power, usually referring to women taking control of a relationship or situation.  Females worldwide experience outrageous amounts of sexual, physical, and verbal abuse daily.  The reason females experience such a disproportonate amount of abuse in relation to men, is that females have been less powerful, and more vulnerable then men.  Despite the widespread fear of emasculation of men, I have yet to hear that it is assoicated with a legitamate concern about any serious problem likely to effect our world in a negative way.  Am I missing something?

For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.