Today Oprah interviewed a group of four convicted child molesters, each who spoke incredibly candidly about their offenses, in the presence of their group therapist. This was a rare opportunity for parents to hear from child molesters themselves about why they molested children and how they did it. Each of the molesters knew or was related to their victims and each had a similar story. The common theme was this: It all started with sexual fantasy about the child, coupled with masturbation. They each allowed their sexual fantasies to increase in frequency and seriousness, until reaching the point of obsession. Before the first incident of molestation, the molester felt out the situation to determine whether he could get away with it and whether the child would tell anyone. The molester then began to molest the child. Most of the molestation started with “safer” activities, such as fondling and the boundries were pushed further over time. After the molestation, the molester felt an adrenaline rush, leading to more fantasy and masturbation, and additional incidents of molestation. All the while, the molester comforted himself by telling himself the child liked it. If caught or confronted, the molester lied and denied wrong doing. The molesters used manipulation, threats and bribes to gain compliance and secrecy from the child. Despite the honesty and insight expressed by the perpetrators, 3 or the 4 men admit that they are at risk of reoffending.
As one of the molesters acknowledged, when a child is abused it changes who they are and who they become.
Here are the 4 things Oprah wants you to know about child molestation:
1. Over 90% of child molesters are Not Strangers.
2. Abusers chose their victims. They seek out those who are vulnerable and gain their trust. The look for those who are needy and have low self esteem. They won’t molest a child if they don’t think they can get away with it.
3. Abusers manipulate their victims, so victims is left confused about what is happening and blame themselves.
4. Learn about and pay attention to red flags.
For further discussion on this topic, go to #mce_temp_url#.
Great post! I watched the interview and it gave me chills. I just wrote about it, since I don’t know what to do. I believe one of my male friends might have sexual inclinations towards children, but I don’t know if it’s just in my mind, or if it’s real. And I wouldn’t know what to do if it’s real.
I’d love your insights and opinion: http://mythoughtsinablog.wordpress.com/2010/04/15/a-child-molester-among-us/
Thanks again for sharing this info, I thought it was an eye-opening show.