Observations of the January 2010 Magazine Rack

One of my earliest posts addressed my observations of the magazine rack.  Recently, it looks like things have been looking up for women who prefer to look at sexualized images of men to those of other women.  Just wanted to point out my observations from this week.  Reggie Bush is shirtless on cover of Essence.  John Mayer is shirtless on the cover of Rolling Stone.  Tiger Woods is shirtless on the cover of Vanity Fair, amd Johnny Depp shirtless on cover of GQ.

I’ve been observing the state of America’s magazine rack for a long time, and this is the most male skin I’ve ever seen.

Scientific and Psychological Studies that will Challange the Way you View Gender and Sexuality

On this page, I will post articles about some of the latest Scientific and Psychological Studies that challange what people have believed to be true about Gender and Female Sexuality.  Please submit additional links by Commenting below.

Biology

Sex Hormones

Fathers can suffer from post-partum depression too. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/08/health/08mind.html?_r=1

Testosterone makes people more selfish, only if they think it does http://is.gd/5nAba

Studies have linked the birth control pills testosterone inhibiting function, with significant long term, loss of libido, that continues even after one has stopped taking the pill. These effects include diminished sexual interest and arousal, suppression of female initiated sexual activity, and decreased frequency of sexual intercourse and enjoyment. The role the pill plays in creating, and increasing stereotypical female behaviors needs to be recognized ,and further explored.  Here is one of the links I found addressing this issue:  http://sexualhealth.e-healthsource.com/?p=news1&id=529877

Genetics

Epigenetics: Why Genes Aren’t Destiny http://ow.ly/1mJAb5

Scientists find single ‘on-off’ gene that can change gender traits. http://digg.com/d31ChkQ

Psychology and Sociology

Education

Research proves girls & boys equally good at math http://ff.im/-egbLQ

Cheating

Do Over Half of Women Cheat? http://tweetmeme.com/story/308522809/when-women-cheat-the-early-show-cbs-news

Women who Cheat? http://tweetmeme.com/story/308522809/when-women-cheat-the-early-show-cbs-news

Why men cheat article http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/10/03/o.why.men

Sexual Behaviors

Gender equality leads to more fulfilling sexual relationship http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/04/060419073758.htm

Studies of female sexuality inaccurate, women dishonest due to social stigma. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/07/030701220850.htm

Media

How Profoundly Are We Influenced by the Media?
http://tiny.cc/68qd5

Examples of Sexism in the News

This is a work in progress, so visit again. I will continue adding relevant new stories. Feel free to add your own examples and links by comment below.

Entertainment

John Mayer makes racist and sexist comments in Playboy magazine interview. Wow, even more offensive then his sickening Rolling Stone interview!  http://bit.ly/bsX3A2

Other

Facebook Group Calls For Murder of Hookers –http://tinyurl.com/ydgh2ua – ridiculous

Politics

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitan called in airhead by NY Post. Are male politician’s called airheads? http://bit.ly/6N8h1S

Glen Beck says Palin Belong in the kitchen. http://ow.ly/HdM2  If you’re opposed to Palin, attack her for her positions, or anything gender neutral especially if it relates to her political ability is fair game.  Fortunately, it’s no longer socially appropriate to make similiar types of statements of a raciest nature.  It is just as unacceptable to say a female politician belongs in the kitchen.  http://ow.ly/HdM2

Senator Mary Landrieu photoshopped to look like scene from movie There’s Something About Mary, where Mary character has semen in her hair. Time magazine was planning to publish this image of Senator Landrieu, photoshopped to resemble the semen in hair scene from the movie “There’s Something About Mary,” under the headline “There’s (Still) Something About Mary.” Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck said Senator Landrieu was like a prostitute because of lobbying she did for a medicaid bill. When’s the last time you’ve seen a male politician refered to in this manner? See article at http://bit.ly/7Cnf1W

Sarah Palin Newsweek Cover Photo in Short Shorts, stating “She’s Bad For The GOP–And For Everbody Else, Too.” (November 23, 2009 edition) I know people say maybe this isn’t sexist, using the example of Obama on the cover of a magazine shirtless, with the headline about the attractive new man in Washington.  That may not have been an appropriate way to portray Obama, but the context of the Palin cover makes it even more offensive to me. This picture went along with an article criticizing her as a politician.  I’m not a fan of Palin’s politics, but think the picture was used inapproprately, to disrespect Palin and portray her as someone not to be taken seriously. If you’re opposed to Palin, attack her for her positions, or anything gender neutral especially if it relates to her political ability is fair game. No more calling her “caribou barbie” or “flight attendant” as has been done. Based on our history of gender inequality and objectification, people should error on the side of caution when it comes to portraying female politicians in a sexual way. This is no more appropriate in the context in which it appears then if they were to show a picture of Obama in a basketball outfit on the cover, to advertise an article to bash Obama’s abilities. See picture and article at  http://tiny.cc/7TRkI

International

In the Name of Family Honor: Girl Buried Alive For Talking to Boys – http://tinyurl.com/y98volr – truly disturbing!

Chinese are finding out sex of fetus and aborting large number of females, leaving too few women for men to pair up. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100111

Serious Harrassment of Arab Women Commonplace http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ml_arabs_sexual_harassment

The Emasculation of Men

Some people have real fear about the emasculation of today’s men.  What is the fear of emasculation based on, and is it a legitimate concern?

No doubt, gender roles have beome blurred in the lives of many Americans, and women’s expectations of men have changed.  Today’s men are expected to be more considerate of their partner’s feelings and more expressive of their own feelings.  Men are feeling increased pressure to accept women as their equals, to take a larger role in raising their children, and to help out around the house.

Although Women are also moving into traditionally male roles, with full time professional job responsibilites, women don’t seem nearly as concerned that they are losing their femininity.  Why is that?  Is femininity less affected by societal change?  Is femininity less important then masculinity?  Maybe it is related to the insulting quality of calling a man feminine, while it’s much less offensive, sometimes complimentary, for a woman to be told she’s like a guy.

When it comes to people who I’ve heard expressing fear of emasculation, I’ve definately noticed some common themes.  These concerns are most often expressed by people who feel a strong need to maintain traditional gender roles, and who are uncomfortable with the idea of women in positions of power over men.  Men who express the concern of emasculation tend to be the macho type who are uncomfortable with any expression of empathy or emotion (other then anger) or don’t want to give up the “boys will be boys” excuse for their insensitivity towards women or inconsiderate sexual behavior.  These are often the same people who have the “men are pigs” (men saying that about themselves, followed by a smile or chuckle) or “all men care about is getting laid” mentality.  Granted, sometimes emasculation is used to describe a situation where a woman is disrespectful and verbally abusive towards the man she’s in a relationship with.  I agree that these situations are problematic.  But no more so then if a man treats the woman in the same manner, and therefore should be referred to as something other then emasculting.  Also few people prefer a whiney, wimpy person, who lacks self respect, whether your a man or woman, if this is what you’re refering to as the emasculation taking place.

I personally, would never be with the type of man who expected me to take a submissive role or who lacked any female-like qualities, and I have never had much of a problem finding a more evolved man who has met my standards.  I don’t doubt that there are plenty of men out there who feel a need to maintain traditional gender roles, but they wouldn’t like me any more then I would like them.  I’m a strong women and am unwilling to pretend I’m anything else.   I don’t believe that gender is as limiting or defining as some people make it out to be.  Most people naturally have some mixture of both feminine and masculine traits and that’s more desirable then either extreme.

If your the traditional type, find someone who is a good match for you, don’t complain about the people who aren’t.  Stop trying to dictate how others live their personal lives. I understand it’s no longer as simple as assuming all members of the same sex have the same desires and qualities, and some people will have to get used to having women in positions of power, but deal with it, it’s fortunately, not going to change.  Look at the bright side, men and women more than ever, can be who they really are, whether or not that falls neatly within traditional gender stereotypes.

Role Children’s Toys Play in Creating and Maintaining Gender Stereotypes.

Studies show that little boys show a stronger preference for trucks and action figures, then girls do for gender specific toys.  Does child’s play lead to gender stereotypes, and just how much of a role do Barbies and action figures play in the development of gender roles?   Much more then people realize, I would imagine.  I also speculate that the extent of gender specific toys has more of an impact on the creation and continuing of gender sterotypes then is realized.

When I was a little girl, I  was a tomboy.  My best friend was a neighborhood boy, named Todd, and I had two brothers.  As much as I liked dolls and barbies, I liked action figures, box cars, sports, star wars, video games, and all kinds of things that weren’t considered girl’s play.  My friend Todd and I switched off between playing with boy toys and playing with girl toys.  Although I experienced some societal pressure to be girly, and subtle pressure from my parents, like getting dolls rather then transformers as gifts, I was never all that discouraged from being a tomboy.   On the other hand, my friend Todd was clearly discouraged from playing with girls’ toys.  One Christmas he wanted a doll and his dad become really upset.  He ended up getting the doll, but the message was sent that it wasn’t normal or ok for a boy to enjoy dolls.  Due to fear that he was becoming too girly, his parents only let him invite boys to his next birthday party, and I was slowly removed from his life, along with his enjoyment of girly toys.  I don’t have any specific recollections, but I would guess that my brothers were encouraged to play with boy, rather then girl, toys.

In my husband’s family, there was less pressure to conform to gender stereotypes.  His parents bought him and his brother dolls and the males weren’t as discouraged from showing emotion. Even today, the gender roles in his family are more flexible then in most.  The men are more nurturing and emotional, and his brother is a primary caretaker of his children by choice.  The women in the family have advanced degrees and successful careers.

How much of a role do subtle, and not so subtle cues from adults about what’s gender approriate play on gender related toy preferences?  Over time, even subtle influences can become major influences

Boys toys include athletic, construction, and violence-oriented toys such as legos, games, sporting goods, and guns. Girls toys include dress-up outfits, toy houses, kitchen sets, dolls, barbies, and medicine kits. Using toys, parents teach stereotypical gender roles to their children.  Girls are taught to be nurturers, homemakers, and to show off their bodies, and focus on fashion and appearance. While boys learn to build things, fix things, to be athletic, rough and tough, to work with tools, to tinker with things and explore, to like cars, trucks, and electronics.  Upon closer examination, you’ll notice that toys influence children’s first impressions of sexuality as well.  Barbie has the perfect body and shows it off.  Barbie was actually initially created as a sexually appealing toy for adult men.  It’s not uncommon to see female characters in revealing clothing in star wars and other action figures sets.  Females appear on sports shows like wrestling and football primarly for the purpose of men’s sexual interest.

Toys teach children who they are supposed to be, and what they are supposed to do. Girls are supposed to be sexy, delicate, nurturing.  Girls are supposed to chase after boys, then stay home and raise the babies, cook and clean. Boys they are supposed to be strong, macho, capable of fixing and building things, able to navigate, self sufficient, and drawn to sex and violence.  The next time you walk through a toy section, or buy a girl a barbie, be aware of the role toys play in encouraging gender stereotypes.

Why You Should Care about the Slut/Stud Double Standard

Women are still labeled sluts for the same behavior people find acceptable, excusable, and sometimes admirable in men.  This double standard effects both men and women in a negative way and is More Dangerous then You May Realize.

1. It  is used to damage girls’ reputations and self esteems

2. It plays a role in maintaining inequality between the sexes. It is a factor that prevents females from being treated as respected individuals, equal to men

3. It is used to justifiy irresponsible and abusive male sexual behavior.

4. It even prevents men and women from fully enjoying sex within a monogomus relationship. Many women feel shameful and uncomfortable expressing their sexual desires in a normal, healthy way, and fully enjoying their sexuality, even within marriage, leaving couples dissatisfied and more vulnerable to cheating.  Recent studies show women behave very similarly to men sexually, but women are much less honest and much more shameful about their sexual behavior.

5. It’s commonly used as ammunition by abusers against women who are in physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive relationships, and is effective making victim’s feel undeserving of better treatment.

6. It hurts female rape victims. Women are encouraged to play hard to get, leading men to wonder if No means No.  Women are led to feel damaged if sexually abused.  Women are afraid to report rape for fear that their sexual histories will be revealed.  Women’s sexual histories are used to discount their credibility.

7. It hurts victims of sexual harassment, for reasons similiar to those listed above.

8. It encourages men to take part in disrespectful and risky sexual behavior. Men are frequently labeled gay if they refuse to take part in sexualizing women.

9. It breeds distrust and a lack of understanding between the sexes, and creates an environment of disrepect and insecurity.

What You Can Do About It:

The first step is awareness.  The double standard is so ingrained in us, many people don’t think twice about participating in it’s continuation.   Take notice of the prevalence of the double standard in tv, movies, and life in general.  Recognize it as problematic, apply the same judgment to males and females for the same behaviors, and speak up when this rule is violated.

The double standard has done little to discourage irresponsible behavior.  Recent studies show that the sexual behavior of men and women is very similiar, women are just less honest and more shameful about it.  Self respect, morality, pregnancy and disease, and other real consequences of promiscious sexual behavior that effect both women and men should be enough of a reason to avoid irresponsible, self destructive, sexual behavior.   It’s time both sexes are held to the same standard.

To learn where the double standard came from and why it persists click here: http://tiny.cc/mwzWj

The Stud/Slut Double Standard:Where it came from, why it still exists, and why it’s time for change

The Continuation of the Double Standard

The Stud/Slut distinction has been ingrained in us since youth, male promiscuity is expected, acceptable, and in many ways encouraged, while women are shamed and treated as damaged goods for the same behavior.   Parents have been guilty of perpetuating these believes in an attempt to deter their girls from sexual behavior, even though their son’s sexual behaviors have the potential to be just as problematic or life altering, to his own or his partner’s life.  Girls are called sluts by their peers out of jealousy, hurt, and insecurity.  Few women make it to adulthood without experiencing the shame of or at least the fear of being labeled a slut.  Even so, it hasn’t proven to be an effective deterent to undesirable behavior, and promiscious sexual behavior is on the rise.

The Origination of the Double Standard

The sexual double standard arose as a way for men to insure they were the father of the children they were working to support.  It began when men and women transitioned from a nomadic existance to that of farmers who settled the land.   Women and men went from having similiar responsibility and status, to a situation where women stayed home with the children.  Without birth control or bottles, this made sense.  The unforturnate side effect was that women became dependant on men for food, resources, and protection.  Women had little opportunity to gain independance, power, or ownership of property, and had little ability to learn how the world worked, outside of their homes, or to have widespread influence.

The Double Standard Today

Today we have birth control, so women have fewer children, later in life.  Today half of the workforce is female and 40% of primary breadwinners of households are female.  We now have paternity testing, so men can assure they are the fathers of the children they parent.  Our lives and needs have changed.  The reasons for the double standard’s origination no longer exist, yet the double standard persists.  Overcoming such habits and mindsets takes both time and effort.  Despite our efforts, the double standard has not been an effective deterent to irresponsible sexual, promiscuity, teen pregnancy, or cheating.  The double standard does remain an effective way to damage girls’ self esteems, to keep females from being treated as respected individuals, equal to men, to provide an excuse for irresponsible and abusive male sexual behavior, and to shame women from expressing their sexual desires in a natural, healthy way.

Conclusion

It’s time put an end to the use of the slut/stud double standard.  Valid reasons for its continuation do not exist.  Would it be so bad to live in a world where the same standard of sexual behavior apply to both men and women, where men and women are held equally accountable for irresponsible sexual behavior?  What do you think?

I’m Not a Feminist, but…

Last week I did a Twitter search to find out what people were saying about feminism. One of the most common phrases I came across was, I’m not a feminist, but…. This phrase was stated almost exclusively by women, and was followed by a complaint of something that was unfair to women. Why are so many women turned off by feminism? Is it negative associations to the term feminist, or are they actually against sexual equality? What do women mean when they say, I’m not a feminist? Feminism is defined as political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Feminists are believers and advocates for sexual equality. I’m curious, do people who actively deny being feminist know what a feminist is, and if so, what specifically about feminism are they opposed to?

I understand not wanting to be labeled. I voted almost exclusively for democratic candidates for years before I was willing to label myself a democrat. Even though I’ll say I’m a democrat if asked, I’d still like to believe I make my decisions based on individual candidates, and on issues, not down party line. You may also notice the purpose of my blog and website is to address issues effecting females today, mostly gender inequality, and harmful gender stereotypes, but I rarely use the term feminist, even though I am an advocate for equality.  I will not deny being a feminist, but I have found the use of the word to be a turnoff to a lot of the mainstream audience.

For anyone who has ever denied being a feminist, Why? I would guess that many of those who dislike the label do believe in sexual equality, at least to some extent. What they may not realize is that feminist does not mean: man hater, bitter, extreme, against all that’s feminine, anti-sex, or any other negative connotations you may have. There are male feminists, female feminists, and feminists who have all kinds of different beliefs about what equality means, and what it takes to reach equality. I don’t doubt you can find feminists who fit the stereotype of the bitter, man-hater, but there are many who don’t.

You don’t have to be aggressive, or subscribe to a certain set of beliefs to consider yourself a feminist. For example, I’m happily married. My husband and I don’t act in strict accordance with gender roles. We do what works best for us. Some of those things are in accordance with traditional gender roles, others are not. If the traditional gender roles work best for those involved in their own relationships, I have no problem with that. I would also not judge a man harshly for taking on traditionally female roles, like being a primary caretaker of his children, or for working as a nurse.  Most men have some feminine traits, most women have some masculine traits, and that’s generally considered desirable.  People should do what works best for them, but men and women should not be limited by, or judged based solely on their gender.  When it comes to gender equality, my focus is mainly on the sexual double standard, and the harm in the limitations and expectations  sexism  creates.

Whether or not you identify yourself as a feminist, think about why feminism gets such a bad rap. I would imagine the main reason feminism got a bad rap initially is because the idea of women having power was historically controversial, and their are still people who are uncomfortable with the idea of women being treated as equals. First, the people who actively label themselves feminists, as with any other type of label we give ourselves, tend to identify strongly with the feminist cause. This means they tend to be passionate about it, and therefore may get more fired up about inequality then others. You don’t have to be part of a formal organization to be a feminist. You only have to have the courage to publicly admit you believe in sexual equality. Secondly, feminists want social, economic, and political equality between the sexes in a world where men still hold most of the power, and that’s scary to some people.

What do the rest of you think?

Women mistake sexual attention for liberation and power

In a review of “Female Chauvinist Pigs” for the New York Times, author Jennifer Egan wrote:

“Our popular culture has embraced a model of female sexuality that comes straight from pornography and strip clubs, in which the woman’s job is to excite and titillate — to perform for men.”

Girls have bought into the idea that our objectification is empowering; that looking sleazy is liberating. Sexualizing ourselves for attention and playing an active role in our objectification, will not lead to equality between the sexes. Increased objectification only furthers inequality.

Girls Gone Wild, sexting, stripper poles at parties and bars, glamorizing the lives of girls who pose naked, and treating them as celebrities, and other trends of this sort do not further the equality of women. Especially when it’s almost exclusively women who are portraying themselves this way.

Women should enjoy their sexuality in a responsible, self respecting way, because it’s pleasurable, not because it gets them attention.  It’s negative attention. Women we need to stop encouraging and engaging in our own objectification. The ability to get sexual attention is not what we should be striving for.  Strive for respect, influence, positive attention from quality people, longterm success and happiness. If you want to be noticed or want to look beautiful, be beautiful, but do it in a respectable way that gives you the attention of quality people.

Females have As Much Ability as Males, but have Far Less Confidence

Although females academic performance is equal to or better then that of males, studies show that males confidence in themselves greatly exceeds that of females.  When students were surveyed on their confidence prior to and just after taking exams, males expected for the exam to go better for them then what females anticipated.  After taking the exam, males predicted they did better then actually did, while females predicted they did worse then what they did.  Other studies show the female’s care more about opinions of others then males do.  When it comes to performing a task that males are considered better at, females performed equally to males, when they were first reminded of their strengths and achievements.  When their was talk of gender differences before the test, females did worse then they did otherwise, and worse then males.  Males performance remained virtually unchanged regardless of messages they were received from others.  Others studies show that males are much more likely to speak highly of themselves than females, even if they’re exaggerating.

What’s the effect of all of this? Women feel less deserving of high income and other forms of success and therefore demand less respect, acknowledgement, money, and status for themselves then men do.  Women dwell more on their failures then men do, and are more doubtful of their own abilities.  Because females lack confidence, they are more likely to rely on others then learn to do things for themselves, are less likely to attempt to try new things, to try experiment in order to determine what works best, or push forward through difficulty.  This leads to less success and greater vulnerability and dependance for females.

The Real Reasons Men Don’t Ask for Directions

More and more, scientists are learning that gender differences are attributed to nurture, rather then nature.  Contrary to popular belief, boys have no greater inherent abilities in navigation, sense of direction, and spatial skills then girls.  It turns out, both sexes start out with equal ability, but girls don’t achieve their full potential.  The reason: Boys are given more freedom and are encouraged to explore, tinker, and figure out things for themselves.  People are more protective of girls.  Because of this, girls are discouraged from exploration, learning by trial and error, and ever reaching their full potential.  People are much quicker to jump in and help out a girl who doesn’t immediately know what to do.  Boys, even if they ask for help, are more often encouraged to figure things out on their own.  Soon, boys learn not to ask for help, and girls become quick to rely on others when uncertain.  When together, boys are more likely to drive then girls, so they gain more experience.  As a result of all of these factors, females have much less confidence and much more anxiety about driving and getting lost then males.  There’s no difference however in the navigational abilities of men and women who have had equal levels of navigational related exploration and experience.  The study that lead to these results was limited to spatial and navigational abilities.  How many other supposed innate gender differences are solely a result of our socialization?  Follow blog or subscribe to RSS feeds and I’ll continue to keep you informed.   Please share your comments and suggest future topics of interest.

What is the Mankini Revolution?

The bikini was highly controversial when first introduced in the 1940’s. Now seeing women in bikini’s is commonplace, but men in sexy clothing still hasn’t caught on. There’s more behind this then a lack of female attraction to the male body, or biological differences.

The sexual double standard remains one of the largest obstacles to female advancement today. The Mankini Revolution is an online movement towards sexual equality that explores its causes, and suggests real solutions. We use the term mankini to refer to any type of male swimwear that’s sexy and shows off the male body. But, this movement is larger then any particular clothing item. It’s about women and men being treated as true equals. It’s about men and women being who they are, and refusing to conform to gender stereotypes.

For more information about the what lead to this site, go to our webpage and read about the criticism Ed received on the Bachelorette when he wore short, fitting male swimwear.

If these issues are important to you, Please go to our site and Join the Mankini Revolution Today! We rely on your support and and participation to make this Movement a success. This site is NEW! We are still in the process of making some changes to the layout and contents. Your help is appreciated.

How you can become involved:
-Discuss the issues on the Community page.
-Post any writings you’ve done relating to the subject matter (even old college papers), pictures, or anything representative of our mission to the Media Page.
-Email us with all suggestions for improvement in content, products, or whatever you’d like.
-Read about the causes of the double standard, the solutions, and the latest studies.
-Buy Mankini Revolution merchandise.
-Suggest topics of discussion, and provide information for posting.
-Nominate movies, magazines, role models, etc. to win the Mankini Stamp of Approval.